Perhaps the biggest myth that I’ve faced in motherhood so far is what they call the “terrible twos.” I actually found the twos pretty adorable. They start to talk more, and I would hang on every word they said because it was just SO dang cute to listen to their little voices. And while they still needed me to wipe their butt every few hours, at least they were independent enough to walk in the parking lot and hold my hand.
The twos were GOOD. Really good.
But the THREES…
I remember when our oldest son turned three. I felt like almost over night he turned into this little monster who had no regard for authority or order. However, what he had going for him is that he was a rule follower. I would look at him sternly when he did something wrong and it was enough to make his lip quiver and he stopped his mischief immediately.
Next it was our twin girls’ turn to be three. This definitely drove me to drink twice as much wine as normal. It wasn’t so much disobedience as it was SO MUCH DRAMA all the dang time. Whining, crying, pitching a fit because their doll’s ponytail was too high on her head. Something always had their panties in a bundle. However, regardless of how dramatic they were, at least they’d also sit and color and nicely play tea party.
You guys, I had NO IDEA what the word “THREENAGER” really meant until recently, as we live day in and day our with our youngest little man.
If you’re new to this word, us moms define a threenager as: “a three year old who acts out, pouts, complains, and has the general attitude, angst, and mood swings of a teenager.”
You might be a THREENAGER if…
…you randomly wake up during the middle of the night, and decide it would be a great idea to turn on every single light in the house, and run around yelling “It’s time to get UP!!!!”
…you wait until mom goes upstairs to shower and you walk over to the plant pot, fill up your miniature dump truck with dirt, drive it across the house leaving dirt trails everywhere, and dump it in its final destination inside the bathroom sink.
…while your mom is cleaning up your dump truck’s mess, you are quarantined to the bathtub to get cleaned off, where you decide it would be fun to dump bucketfuls of water onto the bathroom floor.
…you tell your mom that you pooped and she praises you for pooping in the potty. You are fully potty trained, but you tell her, “Nope, not today!” And she finds that you pooped smack dab in the middle of your bedroom floor.
…you get mad at your sister so you get revenge by peeing inside her jewelry box, then giggling and running away.
…you are finished with your chocolate milk but there’s still some left, so you decide to pour it into one of the cupholders in the back of the van and use it for a swimming pool for one of your PJ Masks figurines.
…you are not fazed in the slightest by time outs. Sure, you don’t like being locked in your room, but mom can’t leave you in there for too long because she’s scared of what you might do when left by yourself.
…you will do just about anything to stall at bedtime, including stripping off your pajamas and yelling at the top of your lungs, “I’m NAKED! I’m NAKED!!!! I’m NAKED again!”
…you have so many emotions that you don’t know what to do with, so most of the time you either YELL as loud as you can, or destroy anything in sight, especially big brother’s lego creations and toilet paper rolls. It’s hilarious to teepee your sisters’ doll house.
…you blame everything on your dog. You mom asks you if you did something naughty, and you simply reply, “Nope, Mabel did it!”
…you like to be naughty, but you also like to be SUPER SWEET. As crazy as you drive your parents, you swoon them with your handsome good looks and hugs and kisses. As tough as life is at three, you know that you’ll all get through it together, and that 4 is just around the corner, which mom and dad tell you is the SWEETEST AGE EVER. Or so they think. 😉
Yes, these were all ACTUAL things that happened in our house, on our watch. Judge us if you want, but I had to document it so that we never forget just how INSANE life is right now. I really think we need our own reality tv show. You can’t make this stuff up.
We have our hands full, but we also have our hearts full, and love this little man and ALL his emotions, tantrums, and energy. We just hope and pray this isn’t a prediction of what the REAL teenage years will be like! Haha!