Emersyn and Mckinley are now 11 weeks old. Thankfully, my hormones seem to have settled down and I feel much more like my usual self. Don’t get me wrong, I still have anxious moments when I feel overwhelmed but sheesh…I am thankful not to be crying at the drop of a hat anymore. Those first weeks postpartum were rough. It was the same after I had Baylen…I remember wondering why no one had warned me about how emotional I would be! I think I cried almost every evening for really no particular reason except for those crazy hormones being out of whack…that coupled with pure exhaustion can be quite the recipe for lots of rides on the emotional roller coaster.
So now that I’m somewhat settled in that regard, I’ve had more time to think about my physical recovery. If you know me, you know that I like to work out. It’s my primary way to relieve stress. It’s also the primary reason that I’m able to eat cookies like the ones I shared yesterday…I very much believe in a balanced life. 🙂
Anyway, I started working out again when the girls were six weeks old, and that first trip to the gym was a doozy. I no longer had the bump to hide behind – I mean, when I was pregnant and working out, people were usually pretty quick to give me praises, so even when I felt HUGE toward the end of my pregnancy I was always greeted with smiles from strangers followed by those fun questions of “When are you due?” or “Girl or boy?” But it was a totally different experience going back after the girls were out. I walked in with my flabby stomach, still wearing the oversized workout gear that served as my maternity wardrobe, hoping to hide the flab. I know it sounds silly, but after looking in the mirror I had one of those moments when I felt like everyone was staring at my midsection, and I was completed humiliated. Satan was in my head and I couldn’t shake it. I quickly finished my workout, drove home, and called Jake in tears. Per usual, he was nothing but affirming, telling me that I was beautiful and it would get better.
The next time we went to the gym together, and he helped me get comfortable there again. Each time I go it has gotten easier, especially when I remember to say a prayer before I walk in – I love how God cares about us and wants us to feel beautiful! When I surrender my body image to Him, he changes my perspective every. single. time.
If you’ve given birth and have experienced anything similar to what I just described, I want to encourage you. YOU are beautiful. Each time you notice something about your body that is different than before you had your babies, praise God for it! Let those things be precious reminders of the blessing it is to go through childbirth, and the privilege it is to be a mommy. And give yourself grace. Most of us want to lose the baby weight and feel our best, but that doesn’t happen overnight. One day at a time, God will help us get to where we want to be.
I still have quite a ways to go until my body is where I want it, but having those extra inches is SO worth it because I get to hang out with these amazing kiddos! 
How do you/did you keep your body image positive during those postpartum months?
May you truly feel beautiful as you go about your day today!
Love,
Amber
P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!
16 Comments
I’m so thankful that we could get a walk in last night! And whisper about all of the new houses. 🙂 I find getting out and exercising does wonders for my mood too.
this was something I needed to read! I have two boys same distance apart as your kiddos but I didn’t have twins and my body is so far from where I want it. it’s a balancing act and I know ill get back to where I want to be but I’ve been reminded by a lot of people that it did take 9 months to grow a baby so don’t expect it to Just come off. granted my baby is now 7 months but ill get there!
thank you for this, Amber! my 4th baby is 11 weeks old and I am having the same struggles!!!
This gave me a paradigm shift post partum…
“Dr. Maya Angelou’s experience. She said while traveling in Africa.. she stayed with a tribe that bathed communally. She said the women began to weep and console her and she did not know why. They thought she was childless cuz she had no stretch marks. In their society, marks are a badge of honor. They said even if the baby passed away and she was kidnapped into a new village, if she passed and could not speak for herself, the marks would tell her story and she would get the proper rites at burial.”
I now feel honored in a different way to have bodily evidence of my husbands love and God’s decision to bless us with children. If Jesus was marred beyond recognition for me, this is nothing but Him inviting me to experience a small bit of His heart when my body seems warped for the sake of another. 🙂
Great post, Amber. Thanks for being vulnerable and authentic.
Wow, thanks for sharing Chandler. How beautiful! I just love that. What a great way to look at it. It certainly is an honor to have bodily evidence that we gave birth to our children!
Great post Amber! I definitely experienced a ton of emotions during and after having my son. I workout out throughout my pregnancy then jumped back into it 4 weeks post partum and actually over did it. I already had a low milk supply but with the added exercise and low caloric intake, I basically depleted it causing major headache with breastfeeding. For months I didn’t really put to and two together because I was so focused about getting back in shape and what people thought of how I looked rather than on what was important for my body and my little guy. I definitely learned my lesson and when the time comes for baby number two will do things much differently.
Thank you so much for sharing Giselle. Some of those same thoughts have been on my mind…making sure I’m getting enough calories to produce for two while also not feeling like I’ve overdoing it. Thanks for the great reminder to put my babies first during these first few months. There is always plenty of time to go after it when I’m done producing breastmilk. You are incredible.
Yeeeeea…..thanks for the reminder. It’s really hard to remember sometimes.
Will just take some hard work and a positive attitude to get there! Thanks for the encouragement!
Thanks for resonating with me on this! It’s a crazy journey, but we’ll get there together! 🙂
To all you ladies out there that struggle with this. Remember that a lot of people are not looking at YOUR post baby body. They are staring at your BABY that you are walking around with. They are not thinking to themselves “wow she looks …….” They are thinking “I wonder how she’s getting along with that new baby.” “Or… Wait she had the baby…. I wonder how old it is.. and what did she have.” Yes there will always be a few that are vain about your appearance but GOD is the one that designed the body. Think of the good instead of the bad. Like, God made bigger hips because its a great spot for your toddler to rest.
And No matter what you are PERFECT in GOD’S IMAGE.
Thank you for your encouraging words Andrea! Such a beautiful way of looking at it!
You are very encouraging to read. I’ve felt the same after both of my boys (also only about 18 months apart), and still feel so sometimes. Good days and bad. But I’m still me, just a bit stretched by my boys, mentally and physically. But they’re so worth it. You’re amazing to be back in the gym with 3 little ones already! How do you find the time?!
Just found your blog and I’m so glad I did! While I’m not a mom (I’m 21 and just graduated college!), I also enjoy food, working out, and running after Jesus.
Thanks for this post! Although I have no experience with the post-baby body, I love your honesty and the truth that you are speaking.
Can’t wait to poke around the rest of your blog!
Hi Erin! Thanks for stopping by! So fun that we have a lot in common!
Totally random – what type of stroller is that?! We are trying to find a stroller that can hold 3 children, but will be more like a double stroller when our son gets old enough to walk longer distances. Thanks for any insight you can provide!
This is a Valco Baby stroller! My parents got it for us as a baby gift, and it has been my saving grace! It’s really the only way I can get out with them right now! 🙂