I need to come clean with you. I’ve been struggling to blog this year. I’ve been trying to think about why, and I really think it boils down to this.
When I started this blog four years ago, I was basically a BRAND NEW mom. I had a 17 month old boy, and twin girls on the way. I was absolutely CLUELESS about motherhood. And I was okay with admitting that!
When you have babies and toddlers, it seems totally acceptable to talk about the fact that they aren’t sleeping, that you can’t get them to listen, and that you don’t have your crap together most of the time.
But I’m not in the baby stage anymore. My youngest is two, my twins are three, and my oldest is five.
At this point, I feel like I should have a clue what I’m doing. I feel like my kids should sleep better than they do, shouldn’t throw as many tantrums as they still do (Target YESTERDAY – OMG!!!), and that I should have my life together at least a little bit. After all, I’ve been at it for FIVE years!
It’s hard to admit this, but I feel like it’s harder to share our story these days, because there’s a piece of me that’s nervous about being judged or criticized or getting unsolicited advice.
I think it’s because the longer I’m a mom, the more pressure I put on myself.
I tell myself that all the others moms in the stage I’m in probably have it all figured out by now, and that I should have done more of this, or less of that along the way, so that I too, could feel like a good mom.
The truth is…
Most of the time, our family is STILL a hot mess.
Most of the time, I STILL feel like a new mom.
Most of the time, I STILL question whether or not I’m cut out for this motherhood thing.
Gosh, it actually feels freeing to SHARE that! Man oh man!
But you know what keeps me going when I feel like this?
I remember that I was entrusted with my kiddos for a reason. Yes, I should always strive to be the BEST mom I can be, I should constantly be learning things that I can implement to make our family better. But my heart tells me that the most important thing I can do is the recognize that it’s OKAY to be ME. THAT’S what my kiddos need more than anything. A momma who is comfortable in her own skin and personality to where she loves them like CRAZY despite how our life might look to outsiders.
I don’t need to be like the “perfect mommas” out there (is there such a woman?), because God KNOWS I will never have it all together. I will likely always be the mom with thousands of cheerios on my van floor. I will likely always be the mom who brings her kids to school looking like a hot mess. I will likely always be the mom who keeps the library in business because of all our late fees. I will likely always be the mom with a messy house and piles of laundry.
But along the way? I’m sure I’ll learn things little by little, and eventually I’ll look back and realize just how far we’ve come.
Sweet friends, I don’t know where you’re at today. I don’t know what battles are going on in your house and family, but what I do know, is that you are an INCREDIBLE mom JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
And when you think about it? We’re ALL new moms, always going through a NEW PHASE of life that we’ve never experienced before!
I know that you are doing the best darn job you can, and that your kiddos are without a doubt BLESSED because they get YOU.
I love you all to the moon and back, and from here on out, you can expect me to tell myself to screw the judgers and know-it-alls, and continue to share OUR imperfect journey!
EVERY season is a blessing. Let’s keep rocking this thing in our own way! Motherhood looks different for each one of us, but it’s certainly BETTER TOGETHER!
Photo credit: Photography By Nealy
I share many more “real life” mom moments on Facebook and Instagram. I’d love for you to follow along on our crazy, not perfect, incredible journey. Follow me on Instagram: (@mommysmetimeblog) and Facebook (Mommy’s Me Time).